I have found the ultimate gift for the beer drinker in your family. The Beer Tender is now available from Krups for under $300. Dubbed “The ultimate at home draught beer experience,” it refrigerates and dispenses Heineken from their 5 liter draughtkeg (also available in Heine Light). A carbon dioxide cartridge within the keg reportedly keeps beer fresh for 30 days. It’s perfect for those of us that always wanted at-home keg access, but 1) didn’t have the space for a full sized cooler or 2) would rather spend the grand or so on beer rather than a beer toy. Feel like a fratboy without all the nasty hazing. Sure, you can just buy the keg by itself and leave it in the fridge, but that is nowhere near as fun as having your own personal tap.

Here’s a great way to make the Olympic games that begin today more interesting. Make sure to have plenty of alcohol ready before you thy this drinking game. I prefer the Scarface game, where you have to drink every time someone drops an f-bomb, but that’s probably because I’m such a traditionalist.

I’m putting Missouri on my “places to visit” list. More specifically, Ballwin. Wine necessities was founded in 2005 by Jacque James and Jen Seitz. They enjoyed making their own personalized wine and noticed that friends and family were intrigued and curious about the process. Today, Wine Necessities allows customers to design and produce a six gallon batch of wine. The process takes about 6-8 weeks. On the first visit, customers will select varietals and mix the wine. About two months later they return to filter, bottle, cork and dress the wine bottles with their own personalized labels. One batch makes about 25-27 bottles and costs between $210-260. Who’s up for a road trip?

but I’m not. I’ve played this game before and I just ran across it again. It’s a good way to avoid getting anything productive accomplished. Let’s see if anyone can make it home.

How Far Can You Walk Drunk?

Celebrate the grape harvest in Texas August 15-17 and 22-24. Check out the Texas Hill Country Wineries web page for more details. Even if you’re not up to the self-guided tour next month, there are links and a map, along with write-ups for the individual wineries.

Red wine drinkers need to chill, and I mean that literally. I know the Chieftain and MasAgua will agree that 72 degrees is much too warm to drink red wine. One of the reasons that it took me so long to get into reds is because most people drink them piss warm. Hey, I live in Texas, it gets hot around here. There’s no need to add to that feeling by drinking a warm beverage. Room temperature in France is a bit different than room temperature in Houston, that’s simple science. And, speaking of science, there’s a really smart man who agrees with me. Eric Asimov wrote this article about chillin’. OK, so it’s not Isaac, but he spells his name the same. Maybe they’re related.

Prince Charles has a car that runs on wine. I want one! Wait a minute, if I have to use wine to run my truck, what am I going to drink? I’m thinking this might be a bad idea after all. What if I drink all the wine and can’t make it to work? Worse yet, what will the neighbors think when I’m siphoning fuel and drinking it at midnight?

I’m all for going green, but not at the expense of wine. Can’t we use something like carrot juice instead?

Take a look at Joel Stein’s Sunday Commentary, It really hit home with me after this weekend. You have to love the female bodybuilder reference. But can’t we give poor Roger Clemens a break?

I’ve crossed this story three times today, and thought it might interest a few of you. My style of drinking wine really doesn’t accommodate the health benefits involved, but it’s better for me than drinking beer! After reading this, a couple questions come to mind: 1) How, if at all, does this affect the taste and price of the wines made using this revolution? 2) Will it really make any sort of impact on the wine industry?

The past two years have seen a dramatic increase in my red wine consumption, but I would say that two-thirds of my intake is still white. If I’m having a couple of glasses with dinner, red is the obvious front-runner. However, after a bottle or two, it can start to weigh you down. That’s where the white comes into play. It’ll keep me on my feet for a couple more hours. A few weeks ago (see Tonight’s Lineup post), I started out with white and switched to red. Lights out! Luckily, Fiona had just gotten a new i pod to keep her company, because I was a goner.

I would say for taste and drinking pleasure, red can’t be topped. There’s just so much more going on there. I’ll actually sit down and enjoy a nice red. However, if I’m really in the mood to party, I’ll stick with white. My approach to white is more…ambitious. The half-empty glass assumes the role of the optimist here, because a full glass is soon to follow. Also, white wine comes out of clothing way easier than red, and I wobble after a few drinks.

Anyway, back to the story. I really don’t think this is the medical breakthrough of the century. If you want to be healthy, you have to get off your ass and work at it. Sitting on the couch drinking wine will not do the trick. But I’ll take any help I can get.

A friend sent me an email quoting Ben Franklin. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” I refuse to publish unless I can somewhat substantiate a claim like this, so I hit the net. I ran across a website that I’m familiar with on my first hit, Wineintro. The message went on about how if you drink water, you’re drinking poop, and the advantages of distilled and/or fermented products such as wine. I wasn’t impressed with the forward, but i did find this-Ben Franklin Wine Quotes. If you read all the way down, it refutes that he actually said that and gives a convincing argument. But check out the site. There’s some good stuff on there.