Some inventions are so simple, yet hold so much potential. This seemed to be the case with my newest wine toy purchased at the Woodlands wine tasting on Fiona’s birthday (see “Wino at the Woodlands”). I thought it had been lost in the hoopla that was the ride home, but it appeared the other day while she was cleaning out the car. As you can see in the picture, my wine glass is perfectly nestled on my belly thanks to the ingenious invention I like to call the Wine Bungee. The base is simply a neoprene patch with a slit perfect for inserting your favorite stemware. Attached is an elastic band that goes around the neck.

I would like to state for the record that I was not drunk when I bought it, but it seemed like the coolest thing a wine drinker could possibly possess when I first encountered it. I soon realized that keeping my glass at such close range was impractical at this particular event, since I had to present it for pourings repeatedly. The device would, however, be great at home. I could wear my Wine Bungee and still have both hands free. How else could I possibly pet my dog and give a thumbs up while keeping my wine at such close proximity? It made for a great picture. But, the camera failed to capture the aftermath, wine splashing about and spilling as I stood from my pose.

Undaunted, I continued to experiment with my new gadget. Sadly, the results remained consistently the same. It didn’t take long for me to abandon my cause, because I really don’t enjoy being covered in wine. For some reason, I prefer drinking my wine to wearing it. Now I understand why the woman showcasing the product had an empty glass snuggled in her Bungee. I’m thinking it may have something to do with the curvature of my stomach, or maybe I just need a larger glass. Nonetheless, in all likelyhood, it will end up as a white elephant gift.

The American Film Institute (AFI) has released their 10 Top 10, in which they’ve determined the Best 10 movies in the top 10 genres. I really have some issues with this list. It just seems a bit dated. Half of the Romantic Comedies are in black and white, and number 1 is, for the most part, a silent film. Yes, the movie has sound in the form of a soundtrack, but there is no dialogue. The lists that work best for me are the Sci-Fi and Gangster films, although I have no idea how they can put 2001: A Space Oddity ahead of the original Star Wars. I was considerably happier with their 100 Years…100 Movies list that came out ten years ago. They released an 10th anniversary edition, but I prefer the original.

At one time, I promised myself that I would see each of the top 100 movies. I doubt that’ll ever happen, but if there’s a movie on the list that you want to see, I’ll be happy to watch it with you and a bottle or two of wine. Since I’m not into wine/food pairings, I’m opening up a new pairing system–wine/movie. What wine goes best with a comedy? a thriller? Would you bring out Champagne for any wedding movie, or only a special one? Horror movies obviously require a red wine, but which one? These are all questions that need to be answered.

I’m going to start with the obvious, The Godfather =Sangiovese. I chose a varietal here because it is Italy’s most widely planted red, and the word means “blood of Jove.” Jove was another name for the Roman god Jupiter. Italy+Roman god+blood=The Godfather. I don’t think every movie will work out this nicely, but I’ll try to come up with some more. Feel free to pair your own favorite movies and wines.

JohnnyWino did not exist five years ago. To be honest, it is very hard to pinpoint his origins. Most of the people I know never saw him coming, including myself. But this is me. Actually, it’s a part of me. I feel that people in general are far too complex to be summed up within the confines of a single URL. So, “Who is JohnnyWino?” I don’t think I can really answer that yet. I’d like to think he’s the kind of guy you would want to hang out with, the first guy you would invite to your party. But at the same time, substantially deeper and more complex than just another party animal. The guy you would trust with your feelings and emotions, but not the guy you trust to drive you home.

What I can say is that Johnny truly enjoys his wine (it doesn’t even have to be his). He understands the complexity of the wine experience without forgetting that, in the long run, it’s more about enjoyment than experience. To Johnny, wine is an accessory. It compliments the person(ality) without dominating it.

I really can’t sit here and type out a plan for JohnnyWino. I don’t feel that that’s keeping in character. I can tell you that I will be writing about wine and all things associated with it on this page. I hope that others will like it. But, if they don’t, it gives me something to do while I drink my wine. That is what JohnnyWino is about.