Australian wine exports have slacked off by 100 million liters this year. American consumption of their wines was down 25%. That’s pretty wild. I have to apologize to winemakers from Down Under. Before my Francophelia kicked in, most of my red consumption was in the form of Australian magnums. The Aussies make very drinkable wines at affordable prices, especially Shiraz and Merlot. They are a great choice for parties and anytime large quantities will be consumed. I’ve always held a certain fondness for Australia, so I plan on doing my share. We cannot forsake the country that contributed Beds are Burning to the world.

The number of people who prefer to drink beer is rising, according to the results of the latest Gallup Poll. The yearly poll determined that 42% of US drinkers will usually grab a beer, while 31% cited wine as their preferred drink. This marks the first time since 2002 that beer has gained a 10 point lead over wine. In 2005, wine actually surpassed beer as the American drink of choice (39%-36%). However, beer has made a steady comeback since then.

There are several possible reasons for the return to pilsner prominence. One writer contributes the spike in ‘02 to the movie Sideways. A friend who worked for Glacier said that they could not keep Pinot Noir on the shelves, while practically having to give away Merlot. Personally I feel this angle is weak, but I did enjoy the movie. I was already drinking wine by then, but it did help solidify my preference.

Americans love food, and wine gave them another aspect to their meals. Pairing food and wine became a sport to many, and beer was left behind. Even Flavor Flav was in, “White wine is for fish, and red wine goes with salads.” Brewers noticed, and have now begun to market varieties that can be paired with foods also.

I hate to get all political on my readers, but I think the biggest factor has to be the economy. Alcohol is a luxury item. The poll shows that frequency of consumption decreases as income drops. With the dollar being weak and gas prices soaring, there’s just not enough left to throw down $25 a bottle. Especially when you can buy a case of beer for the same price. Age is also a factor. In the under 30 crowd, wine came in a distant third at 19%, compared with beer’s 45% and liquor’s 33%.

What does all this mean? Not much. Beer has and most likely always will be tops in America. It is immediately associated with all our favorite pastimes: barbeque, football, the beach… I think wine has done a fine job of establishing itself in the market recently, and will continue to grow among the more mature crowd. To me, it’s a lifestyle thing. I wasn’t ready for wine when I was 25 or even 30. But today, it has become a part of me.

I spent 48 hours away from the computer. It wasn’t anything planned. I was out yesterday, and didn’t really have the time to be on the computer. It felt pretty good. I never really thought about it, but we spend an inordinate amount of time doing the keyboard/monitor combo routine. I would actually log off my computer at work, and log on to my computer at home. Fortunately, teaching is a very interpersonal profession, where I would say that the majority of time is spent having human contact. But that majority is rapidly becoming the minority. In my short eight years in the classroom, computer knowledge and use has changed from being a luxury to a necessity. Remember when using a computer was strictly recreational? It wasn’t so long ago.

I’m looking back to the year 2000. We’ll say it’s early summer. I just finished college, and I’m still making sandwiches at Schlotzsky’s. That was, and probably forever will be, my last computerless job. Sure, there were computer-like devices that I dealt with, but no actual computer being used to generate reports, create new documents, or research information and trends. in actuality, it really should have been a computer using job. Most restaurants by this time used computers for inventory at the very least. Jim, the owner, was computershy-and that’s putting it mildly. It made my job easier, since I just wrote out reports and did a simple monthly inventory. Life was refreshingly uncomplicated.

Computers are so much a part of our day to day lives now. I still have a few friends who have avoided the technological revolution, John Aitkens and Donnie come to mind (I can print their real names because they’ll never know). I think about the old days when we used dial up from AOL. Chatting was big. I would sit at my desk chatting away while listening to tracks stolen, not purchased, from Napster and drinking beer. Internet porn was still exciting, not just some crap that keeps showing up when you don’t want it. It took like two minutes for a picture to download from an email. Floppy discs were actually useful.

But that was the past. We now have access to the entire would at our fingertips. I would say it’s more convenient than scary. And underappreciated. Twenty years ago, there was no mapquest. You couldn’t buy tickets without standing in line. Restaurants did not have their menus posted so you could know what you were going to order before you even left the house. It really was a different world. A world I miss from time to time.

However, the reality is that there is no way I could live without my computer today. It has embedded itself a member of the family, almost like the family dog, only less affectionate. Our desktop is on its last leg, but we’re holding on to it. There’s an attachment there. I don’t want to “train” a new computer to know my preferences. Every picture I’ve taken with my wife is held here. I have work files, resumes and even poems; all my memories sitting here beside me, just waiting for me to need them. I can tell my computer my greatest secrets, and it will share them with the world.  Just like your friends.

I reported a while back how the French were working on ways to spice up its advertising for younger consumers. I personally think they are overlooking the perfect opportunity, but no one listens to me. Coteaux du Tricastin AOC, is considering a name change simply because they share the moniker with an adjacent nuclear power plant. Maybe I’m a little too far outside the box, but I see endless marketing prospects for these wines. Kids today would drink this shit, even if it didn’t contain alcohol. It can’t be any worse for you than Red Bull. Here’s the clincher, the Tricastin plant actually leaked uranium on July 11. Growers in the area are worried they might suffer negative publicity from the breach, but I say bring it on!

Today’s Bordeaux 2008 boasts 100 Classic, Contemporary, Affordable Wines. Since I’ve begun taking my wine consumption more seriously lately, I’ve felt there is a gap separating the French from everyone else. To me, French wines just seem to be more–complete. By that I mean that after a few tastes, you can just sit back and enjoy. I really don’t try to dissect the flavors, because they work so well together. There’s this liquid harmony working that makes it so melodic. I’ve tasted many wines where the fruits seem to battle each other for position within the wine. There’s an internal discord, like the Beatles in the 70’s.

Since I seem to be lingering with the musical analogies, I’ll try to flesh out an example. If you get a chance, listen to the Eagles’ Hell Freezes Over. Throughout the live album, the five core members are dead on with their harmonies, creating one huge voice with each individual represented. It’s truly amazing. French wines operate on that same level. There’s that feeling of, “Hey, this exactly the way things should be.”

I’m sticking my neck out a bit here, because not all French wines have that harmony. I tried one the other night (Tarus?) that was highly recommended by the guy at Specs. It wasn’t quite there. There was too much going on, and it didn’t go together. But the majority of the ones that have “it” are French in my book.

I’m going to print the list and try a few of these wines, and I invite you to join me. I’ve tried a few and seen several others around, but the names all mix together until I find something that really stands out. I’ve been searching for that undiscovered talent, but I find myself returning for what I consider the most harmonious of them all, Chateau de Cadillac. Also, if you’re looking for some vocal harmonies in your music, try Los Lonely Boys, a Texican Rock-n-Roll trio from San Angelo.

Red wine drinkers need to chill, and I mean that literally. I know the Chieftain and MasAgua will agree that 72 degrees is much too warm to drink red wine. One of the reasons that it took me so long to get into reds is because most people drink them piss warm. Hey, I live in Texas, it gets hot around here. There’s no need to add to that feeling by drinking a warm beverage. Room temperature in France is a bit different than room temperature in Houston, that’s simple science. And, speaking of science, there’s a really smart man who agrees with me. Eric Asimov wrote this article about chillin’. OK, so it’s not Isaac, but he spells his name the same. Maybe they’re related.

The problem with putting something into print is that it becomes “black and white.” Yes, I know that most newspapers and magazines have this new technology called color, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Here’s a good example of what I’m trying to say. The article breaks wine drinkers into six categories. I thought this was a godsend, because wondering what kind of wine drinker I am is what usually keeps me awake at night. But now, thanks to Project Genome, I can sleep peacefully.

As I’ve stated before, I’m a complex guy. I really don’t fit into one of Genome’s categories. More accurately, I fit into all of the categories. There are times when I’m overwhelmed. I’d like to think that I’m a savvy shopper, but I can also be a satisfied sipper. Even worse, there are undoubtedly people out there that will dub me an image seeker. Does anyone else have a problem with this?

Here’s another article that nicely divides wines into eight categories (4 for red, 4 for white). This is a little less insulting, because it’s actually trying to help the overwhelmed break through to the illustrious enthusiast. However, I think that deciding whether a wine is oaked or unoaked is rather simplistic, and labeling a wine mild-mannered only stirs visions of Clark Kent.

The issue of black and white most certainly delves deeper than the wine industry. Today’s world is full of distinctions that not only define you, but how others perceive you. Are you Republican or Democrat? Christian or Buddhist? Coke or Pepsi? Smooth or Crunchy?

Today I am calling for a change. My new favorite color is gray. We need to take all this black and white thinking and put it into a paint shaker for a few years and see what happens.

Most people would agree if I said that the word wine is a noun. It’s a thing, right. Wrong. In my house, wine is more frequently being used as an adjective. We have a wine cabinet to display our wine glasses and shelve red wines. The wine fridge keeps white wine at serving temperature. After I use my electric wine opener, I reseal the bottle with a wine stopper before placing it into our wine chiller. We have wine art and wine decor scattered throughout the house. There’s always a healthy stash of wine bags available for when we give gifts. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.

The fact is, wine toys are cool. I love when I get my Wine Enthusiast catalog, because I get to see the newest gadgets that have been designed to make my experience way more enjoyable. This is one facet where wine totally outshines beer. Seriously, how often did I really use my hardhat which allowed me to drink two beers at the same time hands free? I’ll have to admit that the beer bong got heavy use in my late teens, but I’m not sure if I could drink four beers in ten seconds anymore. And, if I could, would I still want to? Koozies are a great way to distinguish yourself and your beer from others, and I always keep several on hand, but they don’t have the charm of my etched commemorative wine glass collection. I actually had a friend years ago that kept a keg cooler in his bedroom. Is that really necessary?

Ok, I’ll admit that many items in my collection are not necessities. I remember wanting a decanter oh so badly after visiting the Boyd-Mullets in Ohio. It fascinated me to watch Josh swirl an entire bottle of wine and let it breathe. I spent hours on the internet, searching for the perfect deal. A couple weeks later, we were at Bed Bath and Beyond and I found it. Exactly what I needed. And it was on sale. I made a special trip to Specs to find a wine in crying out for a breath of air. I was happy, and I hadn’t even had a sip of wine yet.

Several months have passed, and I still use the decanter from time to time. However, much like Christmas presents in August, it has lost much of its appeal. What I desperately need now is better stemware. Something with my initials, so I will always know who I am and whether I’m at home or not. That and the four bottle travel case with the leopard-print lining. It comes with a built in corkscrew!

Some inventions are so simple, yet hold so much potential. This seemed to be the case with my newest wine toy purchased at the Woodlands wine tasting on Fiona’s birthday (see “Wino at the Woodlands”). I thought it had been lost in the hoopla that was the ride home, but it appeared the other day while she was cleaning out the car. As you can see in the picture, my wine glass is perfectly nestled on my belly thanks to the ingenious invention I like to call the Wine Bungee. The base is simply a neoprene patch with a slit perfect for inserting your favorite stemware. Attached is an elastic band that goes around the neck.

I would like to state for the record that I was not drunk when I bought it, but it seemed like the coolest thing a wine drinker could possibly possess when I first encountered it. I soon realized that keeping my glass at such close range was impractical at this particular event, since I had to present it for pourings repeatedly. The device would, however, be great at home. I could wear my Wine Bungee and still have both hands free. How else could I possibly pet my dog and give a thumbs up while keeping my wine at such close proximity? It made for a great picture. But, the camera failed to capture the aftermath, wine splashing about and spilling as I stood from my pose.

Undaunted, I continued to experiment with my new gadget. Sadly, the results remained consistently the same. It didn’t take long for me to abandon my cause, because I really don’t enjoy being covered in wine. For some reason, I prefer drinking my wine to wearing it. Now I understand why the woman showcasing the product had an empty glass snuggled in her Bungee. I’m thinking it may have something to do with the curvature of my stomach, or maybe I just need a larger glass. Nonetheless, in all likelyhood, it will end up as a white elephant gift.

The American Film Institute (AFI) has released their 10 Top 10, in which they’ve determined the Best 10 movies in the top 10 genres. I really have some issues with this list. It just seems a bit dated. Half of the Romantic Comedies are in black and white, and number 1 is, for the most part, a silent film. Yes, the movie has sound in the form of a soundtrack, but there is no dialogue. The lists that work best for me are the Sci-Fi and Gangster films, although I have no idea how they can put 2001: A Space Oddity ahead of the original Star Wars. I was considerably happier with their 100 Years…100 Movies list that came out ten years ago. They released an 10th anniversary edition, but I prefer the original.

At one time, I promised myself that I would see each of the top 100 movies. I doubt that’ll ever happen, but if there’s a movie on the list that you want to see, I’ll be happy to watch it with you and a bottle or two of wine. Since I’m not into wine/food pairings, I’m opening up a new pairing system–wine/movie. What wine goes best with a comedy? a thriller? Would you bring out Champagne for any wedding movie, or only a special one? Horror movies obviously require a red wine, but which one? These are all questions that need to be answered.

I’m going to start with the obvious, The Godfather =Sangiovese. I chose a varietal here because it is Italy’s most widely planted red, and the word means “blood of Jove.” Jove was another name for the Roman god Jupiter. Italy+Roman god+blood=The Godfather. I don’t think every movie will work out this nicely, but I’ll try to come up with some more. Feel free to pair your own favorite movies and wines.