Want to dine at one of Wine Spectator’s award winning restaurants? Good luck. It’s hard to get a table because there are no tables. Osteria L’Intrepido was given the magazine’s Award of Excellence in the August 2008 edition. There’s one small problem. The restaurant doesn’t exist.

Robin Goldstein, author of The Wine Trials, submitted an application along with the $250 fee and an imaginary wine list for consideration. The main wine list was comprised of wines that had scored well in the magazine’s rating system. Conversely, the reserve list was purposefully composed of wines that received poor reviews from the magazine.

How did he do it? Goldstein isn’t going into any details, but Wine Spectator says it called the phone number on multiple occasions only to receive a message. There were also reviews for Osteria L’Intrepido posted on Chowhound.com. Thomas Matthews, a representative for the magazine, said that the wine list submitted was worthy of the award if it had existed. He further went on to state that, “This act of malicious duplicity reminds us that no one is completely immune to fraud.” The magazine has removed the restaurant from its website.

Obviously, Goldstein’s hoax was developed to prove a point. On his website, he claims, “If Google, Chowhound, and a couple of unanswered phone calls suffice to verify not just the existence of a restaurant but also the authenticity of its wine list, then it’s not clear what role the critic is playing.” Turns out the Award of Excellence isn’t as prestigious as it seems. Two-thirds of the restaurants that apply receive the award. There are currently over 4000 recipients on the 2008 list. At $250 apiece, that translates to $1 million in revenue for the publication.

When I first read about this movie, I wasn’t too excited. Now that I’ve seen the trailer, I can’t wait. It’s based on the 1976 “Judgment of Paris” in which American Chardonnays and Cabernet Savignons were pitted against their French counterparts. The movie chronicles the journey of Steven Spurrier, a British wine merchant who travels to the US to squash the notion that California had begun producing wine that rivaled the French. It’s showing in an hour, but I’ll probably wait until the weekend before I go see it. Currently, it’s not playing at either of the Alamo Drafthouses, which is a shame. This is the ideal movie for that setting.

Fiona and I like to rent audio books from Cracker Barrel when we take road trips. It takes a little of the edge off a long drive. I was leaning toward the new Jimmy Buffett novel, Swine Not, but thought it might be a better read than listen. We each found a couple books that appealed to us as individuals, but one really seemed to be speaking to the both of us. Marley and Me had a picture of a yellow lab on the cover, and subtitled “life and love with the world’s worst dog,” there was no doubt left in our minds.

I wanted to prove this guy a farce, because I knew that Marley couldn’t possibly compete with Barney, our basset hound mix who was residing at the kennel while we were in Florida. On the way to Panama City, we laughed as author John Grogan read about the crazy times he spent with Marley. There were times when we had to pause the cd to reminisce Barney’s most memorable antics ourselves.

I think it was Tuesday night when it finally hit me…Marley was going to die before the end of the book. It’s well known that all dog stories involve loss. Either they run away and come back, or they die. Marley was never separated from John and Jenny, so therefore I knew that before the story ended, Marley would pass on. I focused my attentions back into my wine and dismissed the idea with a couple more glasses. We abused ourselves and the beach for the rest of the week, but Marley had left an effect on me. I missed Barney. It’s weird, because he usually just kinda sits there while I do my thing. He’s just Barney.

Of course I was right. Marley gets sick and old. The inevitable is coming. I’m trying not to sob out loud, but Fiona notices anyway. “Baby, he’s not even dead yet, why are you crying already?” I wiped my tears on my arm and tried to compose myself. “I-I-I’m just thinking about when Barney gets like this,” is all I can manage to get out. “I don’t want him to die.” Fiona takes my hand, trying not to laugh out loud at me. “Barney’s not going to die for a long time.” That only makes the tears run faster. “It’ll be even harder to lose him then.”

So, it’s Sunday afternoon and I can’t get Barney until 4:00. I’m finally home, and he’s not here. He’s always here, usually in my way, but today he’s not. Two and a half hours left.

If you love dogs and feel up to a good cry, get the book. Or, you can wait for the movie. It should be out soon, and stars Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston.

So far, this blog has mostly been about wine experiences rather than wine knowledge. It will most likely continue to be as such. But, for those of you who wish to learn a thing or two about our beloved elixir, pick up a copy of The Accidental Connoisseur, by Lawrence Osborne. The cover labels it “an irreverent journey through the wine world.” I picked it up to read on a flight and truly enjoyed it.

Beware, although it is in narrative form, the book deals with the complexities of the world of winemaking. It is not an easy read. However, those who enjoy wine will learn plenty, and it isn’t as stagnant as an encyclopedia. Basically, it tells of Osborne’s travels to the world’s wineries in an attempt to perfect his palate. There’s abundant talk of terroir, fermentation techniques, acidity and other production aspects with just enough wit and drinking stories to keep the book moving.