I’m putting Missouri on my “places to visit” list. More specifically, Ballwin. Wine necessities was founded in 2005 by Jacque James and Jen Seitz. They enjoyed making their own personalized wine and noticed that friends and family were intrigued and curious about the process. Today, Wine Necessities allows customers to design and produce a six gallon batch of wine. The process takes about 6-8 weeks. On the first visit, customers will select varietals and mix the wine. About two months later they return to filter, bottle, cork and dress the wine bottles with their own personalized labels. One batch makes about 25-27 bottles and costs between $210-260. Who’s up for a road trip?

I spent 48 hours away from the computer. It wasn’t anything planned. I was out yesterday, and didn’t really have the time to be on the computer. It felt pretty good. I never really thought about it, but we spend an inordinate amount of time doing the keyboard/monitor combo routine. I would actually log off my computer at work, and log on to my computer at home. Fortunately, teaching is a very interpersonal profession, where I would say that the majority of time is spent having human contact. But that majority is rapidly becoming the minority. In my short eight years in the classroom, computer knowledge and use has changed from being a luxury to a necessity. Remember when using a computer was strictly recreational? It wasn’t so long ago.

I’m looking back to the year 2000. We’ll say it’s early summer. I just finished college, and I’m still making sandwiches at Schlotzsky’s. That was, and probably forever will be, my last computerless job. Sure, there were computer-like devices that I dealt with, but no actual computer being used to generate reports, create new documents, or research information and trends. in actuality, it really should have been a computer using job. Most restaurants by this time used computers for inventory at the very least. Jim, the owner, was computershy-and that’s putting it mildly. It made my job easier, since I just wrote out reports and did a simple monthly inventory. Life was refreshingly uncomplicated.

Computers are so much a part of our day to day lives now. I still have a few friends who have avoided the technological revolution, John Aitkens and Donnie come to mind (I can print their real names because they’ll never know). I think about the old days when we used dial up from AOL. Chatting was big. I would sit at my desk chatting away while listening to tracks stolen, not purchased, from Napster and drinking beer. Internet porn was still exciting, not just some crap that keeps showing up when you don’t want it. It took like two minutes for a picture to download from an email. Floppy discs were actually useful.

But that was the past. We now have access to the entire would at our fingertips. I would say it’s more convenient than scary. And underappreciated. Twenty years ago, there was no mapquest. You couldn’t buy tickets without standing in line. Restaurants did not have their menus posted so you could know what you were going to order before you even left the house. It really was a different world. A world I miss from time to time.

However, the reality is that there is no way I could live without my computer today. It has embedded itself a member of the family, almost like the family dog, only less affectionate. Our desktop is on its last leg, but we’re holding on to it. There’s an attachment there. I don’t want to “train” a new computer to know my preferences. Every picture I’ve taken with my wife is held here. I have work files, resumes and even poems; all my memories sitting here beside me, just waiting for me to need them. I can tell my computer my greatest secrets, and it will share them with the world.  Just like your friends.

I received this balloon as gift wrapping for my birthday present from the Boyds on June 27. Today is July 26, which means it has been flying in my dining room for almost a month. I’m no helium expert, but I’ve never had a balloon last anywhere near this long. I find it truly amazing. It shows no signs of ever coming down either. The best part is that it celebrates me, and my birthday will never end until it descends.

There is one thing that worries me. I have nothing better to do than take pictures of a balloon and write about it on the internet. I still have three weeks of summer left, and I’m resigned to this. Someone please help!!! Barney is sick of me being in his face all day, This morning, he decided that sitting outside by himself was a step up from hanging with me.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had a great summer. We went to Austin and Florida. We’ve hit several events around town that we would have skipped if I had been working. I spent several days fishing. I’ve had fun, but it’s time to get back to work. I know that when November rolls around I’ll be yearning for some time off, but today I’m bored. But please, don’t feel sorry for me. I can do that all by myself.

We decided to have some wine Tuesday, so I headed out to Spec’s. Since it was a spontaneous trip, I really didn’t have time to consider what to buy. I picked up a bottle of Chateau Bonnet-a really nice White Bordeaux for under $10, and really couldn’t decide where to go from there. I remembered an article I read the other day that suggested heading to the chilled wines. The author made the assertion that the wine stewards usually keep their favorites chilled, and that the cooler was a great place to find good, reasonably priced wines.

They have a big cooler at Spec’s, so I still had some deciding to do. I picked up Chateau Cadillac (also a Bordeaux) White. As many of you know, Cadillac’s red has been my standby since late January. I’ve stayed away from the white because of it’s color, urine. I know you won’t find that one in a Crayola 64 pack, but that’s the best way to describe it. I really didn’t see anything else that jumped out at me, so I decided to give it a try.  After all, their red is awesome, they couldn’t possibly be too far behind on their white. It was even a 2005. After tasting it, I decided the color wasn’t urine, it was apple juice. Because that’s exactly what it tasted like. Except not as sweet. It tasted like the juice of unripened apples. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great either. At least now I know.

I reported a while back how the French were working on ways to spice up its advertising for younger consumers. I personally think they are overlooking the perfect opportunity, but no one listens to me. Coteaux du Tricastin AOC, is considering a name change simply because they share the moniker with an adjacent nuclear power plant. Maybe I’m a little too far outside the box, but I see endless marketing prospects for these wines. Kids today would drink this shit, even if it didn’t contain alcohol. It can’t be any worse for you than Red Bull. Here’s the clincher, the Tricastin plant actually leaked uranium on July 11. Growers in the area are worried they might suffer negative publicity from the breach, but I say bring it on!

The Senior British Open is underway this weekend in Troon, Scotland, and one of my favorite golfers of all time has plenty to celebrate with, if he should win. Craig Stadler, known to many as “The Walrus” because of his stocky build and handlebar mustache, aced the 123 yard par three dubbed the “Postage Stamp” because of its size. Stadler, a wine enthusiast, won a bottle for each yard, a little over 10 cases when you do the math. Let’s hope he can’t collect the prize until after he turns in his card on Sunday. Of course, none of the articles I found answered the most important question. What kind of wine did he win?

We’re returning to the normal day in, day out lifestyle after spending a week in Florida. I’m catching up with yard work, washing clothes, and sorting out bills. I run across several charges marked Charlie Lahan’s Car. They’re not small charges either. Who the hell is Charlie Lahan and why did we give him so much money? It only took a few seconds to figure it out. Car is short for Carousel.

One of the sweetest perks to staying at Panama City this year rather than Grayton Beach was the Carousel. About a mile down the road, it had everything a vacationer could ask for. There was a fairly well stocked grocery, a gift shop, and a liquor store attached to the side. To top it off, they boasted a wine cellar, which was very well equipped to accommodate our needs. I even bought our bait there. Cigarettes were only $3 a pack. Paradise.

I’m not sure if I can calculate exactly how much wine was consumed, but I know that two full cases were purchased (one by Josh, the other by Dad), and I bought seven bottles on our first day there. We found some decent French wine at $13 a magnum that could always be found in the fridge. Josh brought in some big guns, including a bottle of ice wine. He really liked saying Chateauneuf du Pape over and over again. It was good stuff, but I think he liked saying it almost as much as drinking it. Dad made a trip and returned with several nice whites, including the elusive Ken Forrester Sauv, which was worth the wait. I even picked up a Cavit big boy, just because.

We had plenty of wine, but it wasn’t all about the party. Florida is one of the two times a year we all come together and do family things. Throughout the daytime hours, we would go about our business. But when the evening rolled around, we all gathered and shared the day’s events over some wine. I look forward to those times and try to squeeze the most out of each day shared with family. That’s not to say there aren’t some tense moments, but it comes with the territory. Hell, I spent two days with my own family at Thanksgiving and my brother and I almost came to blows. We’ll probably still remember Dad’s attempt at a southern drawl at Katya’s graduation. I’ll share the tradition with my kids someday, and hopefully they’ll do the same. So tonight I raise my glass to family. It ain’t always easy, but the wine helps.

I never watch the show, but I’ve always thought Jimmy Kimmell was funny. Censored Sesame Street is a classic. Take a look.  Make sure you have the audio up.

I am proud to say that I have visited two Margaritaville Cafes since May. They are a must for anyone who has ever listened to a Jimmy Buffett song and thought to themselves, “I want to party with this guy.” Jimmy may not be there in person, but his spirit will definitely smack you in the face as you walk through the door. The dining area features tables fitted into fishing boats, hosts cavorting on stilts, and a huge volcano above the bar that erupts periodically.

Of course, there are ample varieties of margaritas to sample, made from Jimmy’s own Margaritaville Tequila. There are also numerous “boat drinks” served along with his newest trademark, Landshark beer. The menu is characteristically Jimmy Buffet; not extremely innovative, but it is amusingly entertaining. It features the obligatory Cheeseburger in Paradise in various incarnations, volcano nachos, and a very tasty crab-shrimp-oyster fondue.

The only drawback to Margaritaville is that everyone wants a part of it. Expect to wait for a seat. We happened to jump on some newly-opened bar seats in Panama City on Thursday, but many are not so lucky. The wait for dining room seating was estimated at over two hours. Fiona and I waited for almost an hour in Vegas. Fortunately, there is a gift shop to piddle away the time. There are just over a dozen restaurants open along beaches in the US, Mexico and The Caribbean, with more on the way. There are even plans for an Atlantic City Casino. Sure, this is little more than in your face name marketing, but it’s a name I approve of; otherwise I wouldn’t wear my t shirt or have the bumper sticker on my truck.

but I’m not. I’ve played this game before and I just ran across it again. It’s a good way to avoid getting anything productive accomplished. Let’s see if anyone can make it home.

How Far Can You Walk Drunk?