Kirsten (Is she my big sister? She’s older than Fiona, but younger than me), is visiting this weekend. To celebrate, we shared a few grapes, Sauvignons, from Cali. Once The Chieftain pulled out the Groth, Fiona decided to have a glass (or 4), even though she said she hadn’t planned on it. It was very nice. You could taste the fruit, but it wasn’t overpowering. I’ve found the Sauvs can be a little too much if you don’t keep them in check. Dancing Bull followed. After the Groth, it wasn’t as outstanding as before; but still a decent wine, no complaints. However, El Jefe had a wild card. Geyser Peak really hit the spot. It wasn’t quite Groth, but it was close, and less than half the price. Better than the Bull, I would say. And, I got presents, a very nice start to my birthweek!

The problem with putting something into print is that it becomes “black and white.” Yes, I know that most newspapers and magazines have this new technology called color, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Here’s a good example of what I’m trying to say. The article breaks wine drinkers into six categories. I thought this was a godsend, because wondering what kind of wine drinker I am is what usually keeps me awake at night. But now, thanks to Project Genome, I can sleep peacefully.

As I’ve stated before, I’m a complex guy. I really don’t fit into one of Genome’s categories. More accurately, I fit into all of the categories. There are times when I’m overwhelmed. I’d like to think that I’m a savvy shopper, but I can also be a satisfied sipper. Even worse, there are undoubtedly people out there that will dub me an image seeker. Does anyone else have a problem with this?

Here’s another article that nicely divides wines into eight categories (4 for red, 4 for white). This is a little less insulting, because it’s actually trying to help the overwhelmed break through to the illustrious enthusiast. However, I think that deciding whether a wine is oaked or unoaked is rather simplistic, and labeling a wine mild-mannered only stirs visions of Clark Kent.

The issue of black and white most certainly delves deeper than the wine industry. Today’s world is full of distinctions that not only define you, but how others perceive you. Are you Republican or Democrat? Christian or Buddhist? Coke or Pepsi? Smooth or Crunchy?

Today I am calling for a change. My new favorite color is gray. We need to take all this black and white thinking and put it into a paint shaker for a few years and see what happens.

Wal-Mart announced that, sometime in 2008, it will begin offering customers a new discount item…

Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine..
The world’s largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price — in the $2 to $5 range.
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but ‘There is a market for inexpensive wine.’ said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville.
‘However, branding will be very important. Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Trai leur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyar deaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can’t Believe it’s not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

P.S Don’t bother checking this out on Snopes or writing back that this is a hoax. I know possum is not a white meat.

Special thanks to Skip Foreplay for the forward.

Most people would agree if I said that the word wine is a noun. It’s a thing, right. Wrong. In my house, wine is more frequently being used as an adjective. We have a wine cabinet to display our wine glasses and shelve red wines. The wine fridge keeps white wine at serving temperature. After I use my electric wine opener, I reseal the bottle with a wine stopper before placing it into our wine chiller. We have wine art and wine decor scattered throughout the house. There’s always a healthy stash of wine bags available for when we give gifts. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.

The fact is, wine toys are cool. I love when I get my Wine Enthusiast catalog, because I get to see the newest gadgets that have been designed to make my experience way more enjoyable. This is one facet where wine totally outshines beer. Seriously, how often did I really use my hardhat which allowed me to drink two beers at the same time hands free? I’ll have to admit that the beer bong got heavy use in my late teens, but I’m not sure if I could drink four beers in ten seconds anymore. And, if I could, would I still want to? Koozies are a great way to distinguish yourself and your beer from others, and I always keep several on hand, but they don’t have the charm of my etched commemorative wine glass collection. I actually had a friend years ago that kept a keg cooler in his bedroom. Is that really necessary?

Ok, I’ll admit that many items in my collection are not necessities. I remember wanting a decanter oh so badly after visiting the Boyd-Mullets in Ohio. It fascinated me to watch Josh swirl an entire bottle of wine and let it breathe. I spent hours on the internet, searching for the perfect deal. A couple weeks later, we were at Bed Bath and Beyond and I found it. Exactly what I needed. And it was on sale. I made a special trip to Specs to find a wine in crying out for a breath of air. I was happy, and I hadn’t even had a sip of wine yet.

Several months have passed, and I still use the decanter from time to time. However, much like Christmas presents in August, it has lost much of its appeal. What I desperately need now is better stemware. Something with my initials, so I will always know who I am and whether I’m at home or not. That and the four bottle travel case with the leopard-print lining. It comes with a built in corkscrew!

Take a look at Joel Stein’s Sunday Commentary, It really hit home with me after this weekend. You have to love the female bodybuilder reference. But can’t we give poor Roger Clemens a break?

I’ve crossed this story three times today, and thought it might interest a few of you. My style of drinking wine really doesn’t accommodate the health benefits involved, but it’s better for me than drinking beer! After reading this, a couple questions come to mind: 1) How, if at all, does this affect the taste and price of the wines made using this revolution? 2) Will it really make any sort of impact on the wine industry?

The past two years have seen a dramatic increase in my red wine consumption, but I would say that two-thirds of my intake is still white. If I’m having a couple of glasses with dinner, red is the obvious front-runner. However, after a bottle or two, it can start to weigh you down. That’s where the white comes into play. It’ll keep me on my feet for a couple more hours. A few weeks ago (see Tonight’s Lineup post), I started out with white and switched to red. Lights out! Luckily, Fiona had just gotten a new i pod to keep her company, because I was a goner.

I would say for taste and drinking pleasure, red can’t be topped. There’s just so much more going on there. I’ll actually sit down and enjoy a nice red. However, if I’m really in the mood to party, I’ll stick with white. My approach to white is more…ambitious. The half-empty glass assumes the role of the optimist here, because a full glass is soon to follow. Also, white wine comes out of clothing way easier than red, and I wobble after a few drinks.

Anyway, back to the story. I really don’t think this is the medical breakthrough of the century. If you want to be healthy, you have to get off your ass and work at it. Sitting on the couch drinking wine will not do the trick. But I’ll take any help I can get.

Here I am a full 48 hours after the big event, and I’m still undecided as to what I should write. I’ll start off by saying that I enjoyed sitting down with several wines and spending some 1 on 1 time with each. I feel like I achieved what I set out to do-create a basis to further explore Sauvignon Blanc wine. We tried five very different wines from four continents. Some were better than others, yet I connected with each one on a personal level. This is somewhat strange, I’m referring to wine as if were a person, and in many ways it is. True, all of the wines were composed primarily of the same grape and underwent the same processes, but they were all very unique in their own way.

Sauvion Sancerre-Loire Valley, France $18. This was the top of the list for me. I’m partial to French wines, and this bottle really came through. I was apprehensive after examining the sight and smell, because there was nothing to suggest that it would be any different from the others. In fact, I really got little from the aroma. But once I took that first sip, I knew it was the one. Fiona didn’t care for it, which was great for me because I got to finish the bottle.

Dancing Bull-California $8. The lowest priced bottle we tasted was surprisingly good. This was Fiona’s favorite of the bunch. It’s just a simple bottle of wine that has a really good balance and taste. Unpretentious. I feel that this was the closest to really conveying what the grape is all about. It tasted like grapes, and I like that.

Bogle-California $9. This bottle goes in the middle because both of us were really indifferent about it. Nothing really stood out. I can’t say anything bad about it, but there’s nothing really good to say about it either. I would drink it again, but probably not buy it. A couple of years ago I would have probably loved it. It has that light beer quality that makes it easy to drink. I’m just looking for a little more than that from a wine.

Casa Lapostolle-Chile $10. This was the wine I went to after I finished Frenchie. There was something about it that drew me back to it. It was the least fruity of all the selections and had a truly unique scent. It really lingered around for a while; I kept going back for more because it was so different. I think this wine would work better standing alone rather than going head-to-head with other Sauvs. As I’m writing this, I’m still trying to figure it out.

Porcupine Ridge-South Africa $11. The bottle’s still in the fridge with an inch or two of wine left. That’s not saying that it’s bad, but it wasn’t our favorite. It did help to bridge the fruity to the more earthy, grassy flavor that can show up. To be honest, the only reason there’s any left is because I started eating. Once I hit food mode, I’m done with wine.

I reaffirmed two things that I was pretty sure of on Saturday. 1) The French really know how to make wine. 2) I prefer for wine to let the fruit show through and speak for itself. There’s one problem, these two statements really seem to contradict each other. I’m aware of that. But I’m a truly complex person so it’s ok.

As I dive deeper into the wine culture, I’m finding out just how little I know. Let’s face it, I’m never going to be Robert Parker, but I would like to tread water when it comes to wine. Last weekend was a sort of sensory overload for me. I drank four very different wines, and in the end was unable to really focus and grow from it. (That’s not entirely true, I grew quite buzzed by end of the adventure.) I’ve decided to try a different strategy and hope it carries me through the remainder of the summer.

I plan on dedicating this weekend to expanding my reference point on Sauvignon Blanc. I’ve studied up on what to look for, it’s aromas, the best places to grow it, and so on. I love French wine, so one will have to be French. But, should I go with a Sauternes or a Loire Valley selection? Drinking with the Chieftain, I’ve become quite comfy with the white Bordeaux and it’s character. I understand that the French like to blend Sauvignon and Semillon, and I’m cool with that, as long as Sauvignon is the primary varietal.

I’m thinking I should also go with one from Napa. I’ve been a little weary of California winemakers, because much of what I’ve tasted seems more appealing to a termite than a human. Should a wine taste like someone threw a couple of boards in a blender? I don’t think so. But my research shows that there are some good Savs from CA. Any suggestions? I’d prefer a grassy or grapefruit flavor over asparagus or cat litter. I’m serious, these were terms used to describe the wine by people who know what they’re talking about.

New Zealand would be the obvious choice to round out the lineup, but once again, I’m comfortable with what I already know. Chile intrigues me, but my ignorance of their wines inspires more reservation than anticipation. The only lead I have here is Valparaiso, and that’s not much to go on. Wikipedia also mentions Australia, but I’ve always understood that their specialty is mass producing passable wines at affordable prices. So, I’m sending this out to you. Any suggestions, insights? Am I close with my selections, or way off? It’s really a win-win situation for me, because I will drink whatever I decide on, as long as I manage to avoid the cat box character.

Update!!! We were inside Specs for almost an hour, but are now well stocked. Drum roll please!

1. Casa Lapostolle-Chile
2. Porcupine Ridge-South Africa
3. Bogle-California
4. Dancing Bull-California
5. Sauvion Sancerre-Loire Valley, France

A friend sent me an email quoting Ben Franklin. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” I refuse to publish unless I can somewhat substantiate a claim like this, so I hit the net. I ran across a website that I’m familiar with on my first hit, Wineintro. The message went on about how if you drink water, you’re drinking poop, and the advantages of distilled and/or fermented products such as wine. I wasn’t impressed with the forward, but i did find this-Ben Franklin Wine Quotes. If you read all the way down, it refutes that he actually said that and gives a convincing argument. But check out the site. There’s some good stuff on there.

Some inventions are so simple, yet hold so much potential. This seemed to be the case with my newest wine toy purchased at the Woodlands wine tasting on Fiona’s birthday (see “Wino at the Woodlands”). I thought it had been lost in the hoopla that was the ride home, but it appeared the other day while she was cleaning out the car. As you can see in the picture, my wine glass is perfectly nestled on my belly thanks to the ingenious invention I like to call the Wine Bungee. The base is simply a neoprene patch with a slit perfect for inserting your favorite stemware. Attached is an elastic band that goes around the neck.

I would like to state for the record that I was not drunk when I bought it, but it seemed like the coolest thing a wine drinker could possibly possess when I first encountered it. I soon realized that keeping my glass at such close range was impractical at this particular event, since I had to present it for pourings repeatedly. The device would, however, be great at home. I could wear my Wine Bungee and still have both hands free. How else could I possibly pet my dog and give a thumbs up while keeping my wine at such close proximity? It made for a great picture. But, the camera failed to capture the aftermath, wine splashing about and spilling as I stood from my pose.

Undaunted, I continued to experiment with my new gadget. Sadly, the results remained consistently the same. It didn’t take long for me to abandon my cause, because I really don’t enjoy being covered in wine. For some reason, I prefer drinking my wine to wearing it. Now I understand why the woman showcasing the product had an empty glass snuggled in her Bungee. I’m thinking it may have something to do with the curvature of my stomach, or maybe I just need a larger glass. Nonetheless, in all likelyhood, it will end up as a white elephant gift.